Mine Until Morning Read online

  “I’ll bet you can,” he’d said with a chuckle, but in truth it left him completely cold. All he could think of was Tessa, and cursed her again for her earlier visit.

  He didn’t even know how she’d gotten his address, but he supposed a senator’s daughter had good resources. It paid to know people in powerful places—until you pissed them off.

  “Hey, Doc,” he said to Dr. Matt Sanders, his eye specialist, whom he’d known in the Philadelphia business community and their basketball league for some time, though never as a patient.

  “Jonas,” Matt acknowledged from somewhere to the right and stepped in closer. “I hope you don’t intend on answering my nurse’s invitation,” he said lightly, lifting one of Jonas’s eyelids to look.

  Jonas didn’t pull back anymore, having gotten used to the closeness, as well as the poking and prodding around his eyes.

  “Do you see anything? Flickers, shadows, flashes?” Doc Sanders asked.

  “Nope, nothing,” Jonas said, trying to keep his voice level. “Why shouldn’t I call her?”

  Matt chuckled lightly. “She’s trying to make me jealous. That’s why she waited until I was in here to slip you that note. Probably nothing written on it.”

  “I see. You two are—”

  “Jury is still out,” Matt said.

  “So how does it look?”

  “I’ll probably ask her out, see how work mixes with pleasure. I don’t want to lose her as my nurse. She’s very good.”

  “I meant my eyes,” Jonas said dryly. “No worries, Matt. About your nurse, I mean. I’m not interested in getting involved with anyone right now,” he said. “She’s all yours.”

  “Gee, thanks,” the doctor replied, poking at Jonas some more, going back and forth between shuffling papers and checking his eyes.

  “Any headaches? Nausea?”

  “Nothing notable.”

  “Okay, well, it’s looking much better. The swelling is almost completely gone, but it’s the bruising that’s probably causing the ongoing problem. That can take some time. If there’s no progress in a few weeks, we’ll run more tests, see what’s up.”

  Jonas sat perfectly still, but his hands turned cold. Matt’s voice was so neutral, that particular doctor tone that tried not to upset patients, but just made you all the more paranoid. Not that it took much these days.

  “Do you mean this could be permanent?”

  “No. Really, Jon, if I thought there was a serious possibility of that, I’d tell you straight up,” Matt reassured, and Jonas breathed again when the doctor put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

  Jonas wasn’t a particularly touchy-feely sort of guy. He and his brothers all had their ways of sharing physical contact—including fighting—and his family was probably more or less as affectionate as most. But since losing his sight, touch had taken on a completely new meaning. He welcomed it, and at some particularly dark moments, even craved it.

  Matt continued, “The nervous system is delicate and unpredictable, and everyone takes their own time to heal. Your brain will let you know when it’s ready to let your eyes work again. Give it a few more weeks, and if you aren’t back to at least partial vision—and it’s very likely you will be—then we’ll figure it out, okay? Be patient. That guy nearly cracked your skull open. This could have been much, much worse.”

  Jonas nodded, grabbing on to the “very likely” bit with both hands. He’d always considered himself a patient guy until recently. First Tessa and now his eyesight had proven differently.

  “All right, Doc,” he said, standing and running his hand along the wall to the door. “I’ll wait and see.”

  “You take care, Jonas. Let me know right away if there are any changes. Make another appointment for a check in two weeks on the way out.”

  “Will do.” He found the knob and opened the door. “Doc?”

  “Yes?”

  “Your nurse. She’s getting impatient.”

  “What makes you think that?”

  He rubbed his fingers over the paper in his pocket. “There is writing on the paper. I can make out at least three numbers,” he said, handing the doctor the note and leaving Matt to think about that as he made his way out to where his brother Garrett waited for him in the lobby.

  “What’s the verdict?” Garrett asked. Jonas could hear the worry riding under his casual tone as they made their way out to the car after Jonas made his follow-up appointment.

  “Same. Everything looks fine. It just takes time. Hopefully things will start working again within a few weeks, or they’ll do more tests to see why not.”

  “Damn. Well, we have to stay positive. Things could change at any moment.”

  “Yeah, no reason to think otherwise, for now.” It was easier to say it than to believe it. “Smart man.”

  “Smarter than you,” Jonas joked, delivering a solid, friendly punch to his brother’s upper arm, nodding in satisfaction as he felt the solid muscle of Garrett’s tricep under his fist.

  “Pretty good aim for a blind guy,” Garrett joked.

  “Watch it or I’ll aim higher,” Jonas returned.

  It was good to laugh about something. What other choice was there? Their family had seen their share of hard times, growing up on the lower end of lower working class, even though his parents had worked like dogs to provide their four boys with everything they needed. There were various crises along the way, always handled together with humor and love.

  This was no different. His lack of vision made Jonas feel like an outsider, different, even with his own clan. People treated him differently, and he didn’t like it.

  “So she just walked in?” Garrett asked out of the blue.

  Garrett had shown up as Tessa was leaving, bumping into her as she left the building. Jonas had been raw and completely unable to discuss the visit at the time, so Garrett had let it go, let him calm down. He still didn’t want to discuss it as his brother led the way out to the car, but he knew Garrett wouldn’t let the matter drop.

  “Let’s get some food. I missed breakfast and lunch,” Jonas said, and then blew out a breath before answering the question. “Yeah. She just walked in.”

  “I knew I liked her,” Garrett said, and Jonas could hear the smile in his voice. It was a new experience, hearing smiles. “I know you liked her, too,” Garrett added, pulling away from the curb.

  Jonas didn’t answer. His brother was a romantic.

  Lust had very little to do with liking someone, in his view, but he had to admit, he had seen a lot to like about Tessa while he had worked with her for those few weeks. More than he had expected to. More than he was comfortable with.

  She was dedicated to her business, much as he was to his. Her obvious caring for her customers and her friends was clear, and she did seem to truly love her father, in spite of their differences. She was extroverted, sexy and gregarious, but not the reckless, selfish woman he had envisioned. At least, that was what he’d thought until she’d proven him wrong.

  There were a lot of reasons to keep a principal—the term they used for the person receiving their protection—at arm’s distance. Women in particular, even married women, had a tendency to fall for their bodyguards—a kind of transference, like falling for their doctors or therapists. Jonas never took the bait. Not before Tessa.

  “You know what she did, Gar. She didn’t have to tell anyone what happened between us. It was my bad for falling for it in the first place.”

  Garrett couldn’t argue that. Losing a client like the senator was a major blow.

  “I think you should give her the benefit of the doubt. She came by the office a few times, looking for you, and I don’t know, Jon. She just didn’t hit me that way. There might be more going on.”

  “How else to explain her father warning me off her?”

  “I guess you have a point. But you were different when you were around her for those few weeks. I can’t put my finger on it, but I thought she might be good for you.”

  “Frank
ly, after what you’ve been through, I’m surprised you have a romantic bone left in your body, Gar.”

  Jonas heard his brother’s silence louder than any reply, and cursed under his breath at his blunder. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have gone there.”

  “It’s okay. You’re right. Lainey and I had some wonderful years, and I lost her too soon. But what we had was great. You deserve that with someone. You’re too much on your own all the time.”

  Rain was coming down a little harder than when they left, and Jonas remembered that some strong storms had been forcasted for later in the evening.

  Jonas didn’t respond, but his brother’s words hit home.

  They were different men, even if they were brothers. Garrett had lost his wife in a car accident while he was gone on a job, and it had nearly wrecked him. He’d bounced back, and from what Jonas could see, would be able to find happiness again someday. Jonas hoped he would. Garrett was made for family, being a husband, a father.

  Jonas didn’t see that in his future, but he still put family first. The senator’s aide had made Rose’s threat clear—if he went near Tessa, there could be serious repercussions to the agency, to Jonas’s brothers and everything they had worked for. No way would Jonas risk that.

  “You should come in the office today, listen up on some of the recent cases,” his brother offered, changing the subject.

  “Maybe,” Jonas replied.

  He’d like nothing better than to get to work, but he worried about being at the office too often. He figured it was better to keep his condition as hidden as possible. If clients discovered he had messed up or been seriously wounded on the job, it could compromise people’s confidence in the agency, in their ability to do their jobs.

  The car stopped, and Jonas detected the rich aroma of cheese steak and onions from their favorite shop just west of Center City.

  “This way,” Garrett directed, walking at his side. Jonas negotiated his way along with the cane, hating every minute of it, but he needed it to find his way through more obstacle-ridden environments like streets and crowded public places. As soon as they reached their table, he stashed it away.

  “It’s just a cane, Jonas. A tool. People don’t even notice. Most blind people these days live very normal, active lives.”

  “I’m not a blind person. This is temporary,” Jonas bit out, and then regretted his tone.

  Garrett was right, but Jonas was edgy—an understatement of the emotional mess Tessa had left him in.

  It had taken everything he had inside not to take her to bed right there and then. He was that hungry for her, and that fact generated even more self-disgust. How could he be so attracted to a woman who was obviously so manipulative? But if she hadn’t said no, he knew it would have happened.

  It was just pent-up lust and frustration, or so he told himself.

  His lack of vision certainly hadn’t seemed to put Tessa off any, he thought, remembering how passion and need had practically vibrated off her. Her scent was still on his skin. He didn’t know if she was faking that or not. The senator was out of the country, and maybe she’d decided to finish what they’d started when her father was out of play—something like eating cake and having it, too.

  “Well, if not with Tessa, you still need to get out more,” Garrett continued. “You’re blind, not under quarantine. When was the last time you were even on a date?”

  “Now, there’s the pot calling the kettle black,” Jonas accused.

  “I’ve gone on a few dates, but my situation is different.”

  Jonas frowned. “I don’t date. I have plenty of women I know who are available when I want one.”

  “Classy.”

  “Drop it, Garrett. Can we talk about cases, the weather, anything but this? You’re beginning to make me wish I’d gone deaf, too.”

  Garrett laughed and acquiesced as their sandwiches arrived and they dug in. They were delicious as always, though Jonas was getting a little tired of sandwiches, in general. They’d been standard fare since he lost his sight, as he didn’t have to worry about using utensils to find the food on his plate, or embarrassing himself in front of others.

  When his sight returned, he was heading for the first Italian restaurant he could get to for some pasta. Ideally, he would meet one of the women he called now and then to join him and kill two birds with one stone. If he could get back to his normal life, he knew his obsession with Tessa would fade.

  “We’re supposed to be getting some wicked storms today. It’s already turning gray out there. The news said there were tornadoes down south, and it’s all moving this way,” Garrett commented.

  “We could use the rain. Get rid of some of this heat,” Jonas said. He loved summer storms, the power and energy of them. “What are Ely and Chance up to?”

  “They’re both in the field. Ely’s finishing up the bank job down in Norfolk, and Chance will be caught up in New York for a while. Ely should be back tonight, depending on how the storm affects his travel. I’ve just been minding the store.”

  They always tried to have three in the field, with one in the office. They alternated home duty. They didn’t want a secretary, and Garrett did the books. The fewer additional people in the agency, the tighter the security, and that was what it was about.

  Ely was the most serious of the bunch, the second youngest, a Marine and just returned from a lengthy tour in Afghanistan. He’d almost re-upped, but after recovering from a near-fatal injury caused by an IED, he’d decided to come back home.

  Jonas had held his breath with the rest of his family for pretty much the entire time Ely was gone, and was never as relieved as when his little brother came home for good and joined their family venture.

  Chance, aptly named, was their baby brother—and hated being called that with a vengeance. He was also the risk-taker of the family. If it could launch him over a cliff, speed him around a track or take him thousands of feet over the earth, Chance was up for it.

  He was also a crack shot and a martial arts expert. Jonas always told him he was overcompensating for being youngest and two inches shorter, though at a solid six feet, it hardly made a difference. In so many ways, easygoing Chance was more deadly than all of them put together because he seemed to have no fear of anything.

  “Another couple of jobs well done,” Jonas murmured, proud of his brothers and wishing he could have felt as happy about his own work recently.

  The Norfolk job, in particular, was one that James Rose had recommended them for. A high-profile case at a federal bank, it was a nice feather in their cap.

  Not only had Jonas crossed a line almost sleeping with Tessa, but if anything had happened to her, he’d never have been able to forgive himself.

  He was quite sure the senator would never forgive him, and Jonas only hoped that in time, they could still do business together.

  He and Garrett made their way back out on the street. The air was even thicker than before, the humidity near smothering, though a warm wind blew around them. He could hear thunder in the distance rolling closer as wet drops splashed on his face.

  “So what now?” Jonas said.

  “I have some paperwork stacked up at the office,” Garrett said, walking along.

  Jonas was faced with the paralyzing anxiety he’d had every day since coming home from the hospital. When he couldn’t work, he didn’t know what to do with himself. He used weights, listened to books, listened to TV, which was maddening. There wasn’t much he could do at the office.

  He didn’t like being at loose ends, useless to those around him. His thoughts and emotions tangled in the darkness that was his life at the moment as they got in the car and drove slowly down the city street. Heavy raindrops hit hard on the outside of his brother’s car as a heavy gust of wind shook them.

  Garrett started to say something when a crack of thunder and lightning boomed around them, and Garrett hit the brakes hard.

  “What happened?” Jonas asked as they stopped cold.

  “Tree
down,” Garrett said, sounding apprehensive. “Just split and blocked the street right in front of us. This is getting bad fast. The office is closer than your apartment, so let’s head that way and hunker down there.”

  Jonas murmured agreement, his thoughts still on Tessa, though they shouldn’t be. The humid air made her scent rise from his skin, and he swore he could still taste her from the kiss they’d shared that morning. The electric energy in the air from a nearby lightning strike seemed to exacerbate the memory.

  He turned on the radio, listening to the storm warnings, trying to forget her, though he suspected it was going to take a very long time for that to happen.

  “I SWEAR, LYDIA, I had no idea. It was such a shock. How could they not tell me that he’s blind?” Tessa asked for the fourth time, pacing the hard tile floor of the foundry, her voice breaking with misery. “And it’s because of me. My father had to know. He could have told me.”

  It was starting to rain harder, the drops falling more heavily from a blackening sky; even though it was only midday, it looked like evening. The weather approximated her mood.

  Lydia Hamilton, who owned the tattoo shop Body, Inc. next door to Au Naturel, looked on in sympathy as Tessa paced.

  “Your dad has been traveling, and you know how he is. It’s not your fault, Tessa. These guys take risks every day,” Lydia said in her usual frank fashion. “It’s part of the work they do. It is a shame though. He was hot.”

  “He still is. He’s blind, not maimed or dead,” Tessa said, thanking the universe for that, at least.

  It was part of why she always resisted the protection her father pushed on her. She could never stand to think someone died trying to protect her. What made her so special?

  “Jonas was so…angry. He has some idea that I was using him to get back at my father.”

  “Well, that was your M.O. once,” Lydia said, sliding her a knowing look.

  “Yeah, back in my twenties. Not for a long time. Believe me, it didn’t take long to figure out the jerks I dated to annoy my father didn’t make me happy, either. I can’t figure out why Jonas would think that. We got to know each other quite a lot in those few weeks. I thought he was starting to like me.” More than like.